I just read that Rihanna hasn’t been on a date for two years. Two years! I seriously doubt she was including one-night stands, but I believe her. It makes me sad to think she simply does not want to deal with dating. It is not as if anyone would reject her, ignore a second date, or fail to text her back like the rest of us. Even someone admired by millions can become tired of uncertainty and emotional disappointment.

Rihanna said she would love to go on a date because she is a young, vibrant woman who loves to have fun. Yet no one asks, and she is waiting for a man confident enough to deal with her. She may have a point: sometimes, when you go looking, you find the wrong things. Still, I wonder whether most men would approach her at a party or feel too intimidated. Being famous and beautiful may attract attention, but it can also make ordinary people afraid to make the first move.

Her story made me think about dating time-outs and people who stop looking, hoping someone amazing will simply appear. Personally, I do not think it works that way. If you want something, you have to put effort into it. Go out, be social, and start saying yes more often instead of waiting for someone with every perfect quality to find you. Sitting at home night after night keeps you in the same routine. Dating asks us to leave our comfort zone and take a chance.

Dating can push us out of our comfort zone and break down the hard shell we think protects us from being hurt. It gives us perspective and helps us understand ourselves better. Still, time-outs can reset your thinking when dating feels exhausting. I remember when I would rather go to the dentist than sign up for another dating site. Take a few weeks if necessary, but two years calls for an intervention. Rihanna, I hope someone introduces you to a great guy, and you decide to take your chances.